Whenever learning another language, one of the first things I want to learn is how to conjugate the verb "to be". (Of course learning greetings and important vocab like 'bathroom' come before even this :) Knowing how to say "I am..." is one of the most basic phrases around and a whole lot can be built from it. My Spanish is rusty these days but I don't think I'll ever forget how to conjugate "ser" after having it hammered into my head for about 4 years.
In this time of waiting and allowing my health to purposely deteriorate in order to make it better in the long run, I'm re-learning what it means "to be". It's a lesson I've struggled to learn since forever, I think. And I'm sure this won't be the last time. But as someone who is much more concerned with the "to do" rather than the "to be", I struggle when I am forced to stop doing and be content with just being.
As a 20-something, I have an inner drive to do, to create, to work. And instead, my life has come to a screeching halt multiple times. Boo. But through it all, I'm learning that my Abba Father doesn't love me any less or approve of me any less because of my current inability to do. All He asks is for me to be; to be with Him and in Him. He is quite capable of doing it all without me. He is bringing His redemption and His kingdom no matter what. I find great peace in the knowledge that just "being" is all that God asks of me and whatever "doing" comes as a result is added blessing.
Romans 8:22-25
"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
From a fellow "do-er", I hear you. Thanks for the words "just 'being' is all that God asks of me and whatever 'doing' comes as a result is added blessing." Amen. Maybe I should make a t-shirt that says that...and wear it every day!
ReplyDeleteLove from Uganda, Amy
Hey Crissy, I've been following your blog through the Johnson's (my husband and I are going for a site visite to meet the team in January)and praying for you since your return stateside to get medical treatment. Shoot me an email- would love to talk to you about Uganda! In the meantime, be encouraged by Zephaniah 3:17 that says, "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save; He will rejoice over you with singing, and He will quiet you with His love..."
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Lauren Webber