The Sting of Reality

Coming back to Bundibugyo after some time away usually results in a bit of a slump on return. The post-Kampala funk is nothing new and is not surprising. Leaving a wonderland of restaurants, unlimited internet, well-stocked grocery stores, and anonymity in a crowd to return to a place that is well…none of the above can be hard. Reality has a tendency to slap ya in the face when you come back. It seems like the slap was extra hard this time though.

There were a lot of little annoyances that quickly added up to feeling overwhelmed upon returning home. Opened the back door to the car to unload the mounds of bags and boxes (2 month grocery supply included) and there is a white liquid dripping. Milk. Apparently some of the frozen, bagged milk I had bought had not only thawed but the bag had broken and dripped over everything. Walk in the house. Power is out. Bummer. Deep breath and begin tackling the job of unpacking everything alone (I’ve been spoiled by two great housemates), jamming stuff into the freezer and realizing it just won’t all fit. Look through the pantry and realize a rat is on the loose in the house. A few hours later…rat is located in the office due to scratching coming from under the desk. Don’t have the heart to search it out and bludgeon it to death alone.

Meanwhile, my new neighbor, Truffle the cow, is mooing like the sky is falling down around her. Truth of the matter: she is in heat and apparently cows in heat make a lot of noise. The things I never thought I’d learn on the mission field! All I know is that I’m not thrilled when she moos at 1 am and earplugs don’t drown it out. Power comes on and then the outlets in our house mysteriously stop working. My teammate, Josh, investigates and realizes there is an issue in our electrical box that could result in a fire if not fixed. My power is turned off for safety. I’m exhausted and to what do my fatigued eyes do appear? A gigantic cockroach on the head of my toothbrush.

While all of these things took place over a 48 hour period, you may see why I wasn’t feeling particularly joyful this morning. Rats, spilled milk, electricity (or lack thereof), and cockroaches can all be day-ruiners. But a SMS I received on Saturday morning is probably the real reason for my funk.

Silivano, the 5 year old boy I had referred to Mulago Hospital died on Friday night. I had just visited him on Tuesday since I had been in Kampala. He was clearly sick but I was looking into getting free housing for him and his father while they pursued treatment for his bone marrow failure. I gave him some small gifts and he seemed to particularly like the purple matchbox car. I took a photo of him, with plans to post it here and ask for prayer for him. I had a good talk with his dad and told him my own story of illness and how Silivano had a special place in my heart.

Silivano’s death is another bitter reminder of the brokenness of this world. I am grieving but I’m sure my sadness is a fraction of his parents’. Tonight as I think about it all, I find reasons to be thankful though. I am thankful that this world is not our home; that Silivano is no longer suffering; that one day death will lose its sting. I am thankful that God brought me through cancer so that I would be passionate about advocating for sick kids from Bundibugyo. I am thankful for the gifts that God has blessed me with throughout the past few days: electricity, a quiet evening (free of mooing), ripe mangoes, conversations with friends over sodas, cool mornings, watching a little boy dance in worship at church, 30 Rock and Modern Family, reading the Bible--coffee in hand. I find it easy to question God when slapped in the face with the pain and brokenness of this earth. But finding some things to thank him for is the antidote to the slump tonight.