He'll Carry Me All the Way

While I was at MTI, there was one night that I felt particularly discouraged. I felt overwhelmed by the task ahead of me in Uganda. I grumbled to God about my loneliness and feeling entirely incapable of what He had called me to.

That night I opened my Bible to Deuteronomy, remembering a random passage I had wanted to look up. I never found that passage. But I did start reading the book at chapter 1. And God yet again amazed me at His ability to speak fresh and anew through his Word to me.

I'm not a Bible scholar so I might get this background info wrong. But, from the bit I read, it seems the Israelites have made it out of Egypt and were camping on a mountain in Moab, perhaps after wandering in the desert for a while. God tells them they've stayed there long enough and it's time to move on to the land He had prepared for them. I'm pretty sure the Israelites were less than thrilled about this whole plan. They had to travel through a "vast and dreadful desert" and then reached land that was currently occupied by the Amorites. They sent some spies in who checked it out and said it was good land. But the Israelites still doubted God's good intent.

They grumbled. They said, "God hates us and delivered us from Egypt only to deliver us into the hands of these Amorites. These people are strong and tall and there are big walls around the city. God doesn't realize that this is just impossible." [all of this is my paraphrasing]

Moses's reply is fantastic. He says:

"Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

The story continues of course. And the Israelites continue to grumble and rebel and God allows them to be defeated by their enemies.

But, when I stop reading after Moses's reply, I find so many parallels to my own life. Sure, sometimes I'm excited for all the adventures ahead in Uganda. But sometimes I feel completely inadequate for the needs of Bundibugyo. (Read this post from my team leader to get a feel for it) I'm not afraid of Ammorites and I don't plan on invading and staking a claim to any territory, like the Israelites. But I can find it easy to fear my lack of expertise as I try to help with a nutrition program without any medical or nutritional schooling. I can find it easy to fear as I leave my familiar surroundings and the support system of friends and family I've known my whole life.

It is easy to fear. But, God is going before me. He has fought for me so many times in the past. And above all else, he will carry me. He will carry me as a Father carries his daughter all the way. What encouragement!