Not Just Fun & Games--But Learning Too!

I'm guessing that you may be wondering just what I've been up to here at MTI. Lest you think it is all hiking adventures and trips to the ice cream shop (which I have enjoyed), I thought I'd make up a little list of some things I've learned in the past two weeks.

• When it comes to conflict under stress, I am often a "turtle". We each learned our conflict styles and how it will play into our dealing with issues that will come up on the field.
• I met with 5 other women in differing walks of life that are all leaving for different fields in the upcoming week. We spent time together as a small group--getting to know each other and reflecting on God's word together.
• Yesterday, I had to meet with each of the women and tell them 4 strengths and 1 weakness I see in them and they did the same for me. It was a little terrifying but mostly encouraging and special to listen and to share.
• In our unit on managing stress, I took a test called the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale. My stress levels due to life events (good, bad, and change are all stressors) were double the most severe in the scale. The last year has been a time of many good things and a lot of exciting change. But even good can be stressful. This session on stress was a wake-up call to me. I don't want to arrive in Uganda already burnt out. As I talked over the results of the test with a personal coach, I decided I need to make changes as I prepare to come home for the next month before flying to Uganda. I am looking forward to lowering those stress levels!
• I walked across a "bridge" made of unstable chairs and exercise balls while connected to 5 other people. We learned about the bridge of transition, all the stages of transition we're going through (and about to go through), and how we're connected to others on our team that are at different stages on that bridge.
• (If you might be coming to MTI--skip this one because it'll be a big spoiler--I warned you!) I took part in a pretty realistic simulation of hiding and then being held hostage with 20 other people, standing in a tiny wooden box in the dark for at least an hour. Why are they torturing us here at MTI? Because it revealed our true colors under stress and more than one of us were surprised at our reactions!
• After that experience, we were given a full day of guided Sabbath in silence and solitude. I didn't realize how much I had been craving away and alone time with God. As a strong storm came rolling over the mountains, I took my spot on a bench under the entryway overhang. The wind began to whip, the rain fell hard, and I was amazed by God's majesty yet again. And as I looked over the horizon, there was one small patch of sky that remained blue and bright with all the gray around it. Thank you for that, Jesus!

Well, I could go on for quite some time about all that I've learned. I'm excited for these last few days of learning that we have left. I feel strangely unsure about going home. I want to spend this month making memories with my family while not having that sense of "impending doom" (to put it dramatically) of the painful good-byes to come. I don't want to say the good-byes to those I've grown to love and connect with over the past few weeks here at MTI. I don't want to go home and have reality hit. I don't want to face packing my life into 3 bags. I don't want to say good-bye to my dear college friends. I don't want to have that last Sunday in my home church. There's plenty of things I'm not looking forward to.

But, I have much to look forward to! Special times with family, laughter with friends, loving on nieces and nephews, the chance to show my love by saying good-bye well. And despite the many good-byes and painful realities of leaving, I also have many hellos to say! I am about to embark on a new journey with God in Uganda and I am so excited to become a part of the team there. Thank you Jesus for being with me wherever I go and providing me with loved ones all around the world!

Why, Yes, I Did Climb Pike's Peak

So, I've been here at MTI for almost a week. It has been an incredible experience thus far. While the classroom material is helpful, I think spending time with fellow missionaries has been the most enriching part of it all. Whether we're eating lunch together or walking over to the ice cream shop together, I am continually amazed at how much we have in common and how easy it is to make conversation. We have a bond in our passion for the reaching the world and I'm amazed at how much I've learned about each person after only one week. I could go on and on about how good this time has been for me and how excited I am for the next two weeks. But, I'm primarily here tonight to impress you.

Today, Saturday, August 7th, 2010, I climbed to the top of Pike's Peak--a summit of 14,110 feet. We drove up to about 11,000 feet and then (crazily) decided we would climb the last 3 miles to the summit. We wanted to do a little hiking and not be lazy and drive the whole way up. Bad decision? Probably.

The trail started out pretty flat, grassy, wide. None of us were particularly acclimated to the altitude. I have been living at 7,000 feet for about 5 days. That's it. We were huffing and puffing our way up but I kept thinking, "This isn't that bad."

But then the climb became steeper and steeper. And then the boulder field came. I didn't even realize what a boulder field was. But it's basically a bunch of massive rocks at the top of a mountain. We took a basically vertical climb up said boulder field. I have no idea how long we were there or how far it was. Someone estimated around a mile of rock climbing. Every time we'd get to a place that I thought was the top, there was just one more hill of rocks to climb. (By the way, I did all of this in Chacos. Lovely.) My foot started cramping, my lungs felt like they would explode, I was gripping each boulder like a kung fu champion as I dangled over the cliff, and I watched as the road the cars drove on (my escape route) became farther and farther away. I wasn't alone in my exhaustion, fear, and general freaking-out-ness. But as Joyel (the only other woman) and I realized it would be harder to go down than up, we gave in and just kept going.

I have never been so happy to see a guardrail. I'm pretty sure I screamed "Thank you Jesus!". The guardrail served as our hope that the top was near. A sign of civilization. Not just one rock after another. That guardrail buoyed my spirits enough to get to the top.

Right now, about 5 hours after we reached the summit, I feel like an old woman. My knees are aching and my body is still pretty mad at me. But, I can honestly say, I am thrilled I made it. It certainly wasn't just me scaling up that vertical wall of rocks. I found myself praying more today than I think I have all week. And a song we sang a few days ago kept coming back to me:

"Every move I make, I make in you.

You make me move, Jesus.

Every step I take, I take in you.

Every breath I take, I breathe in you.

You are my way, Jesus.

Every breath I take, I take in you."

As my sea-level lungs struggled to catch up, my heart pounded out of my chest, and my legs turned to iron today, I kept thinking about how much this whole experience is like my spiritual journey. Take me out of my comfort zone, and I suddenly realize that every single step I take, is only enabled by the grace of God. I can find it so easy to rely on my own strength when I'm comfortably living at home in Maryland. But I constantly need to be reminded that I'm an incredibly weak vessel and I can only move, step, and breathe by the power and strength of Christ in me.

Today's left me with a lot to remember. I bought some things at the top of the peak that I plan to take with me to Uganda. I want to remember the physical, psychological, and emotional hurdles I made it over today. And when something seems impossible in Bundi, I'm hoping those "souvenirs" will be good reminders of what God has brought me through in the past.

I'll leave you with some pics even though the camera could not at all capture the beauty and majesty of these mountains. Or the physical stamina it took to hike them :)

At Crystal Lake, with Pike's Peak behind me. Completely oblivious of what was to come :)

Yes, I climbed over that. And then there was a whole additional mountain of boulders to be conquered.

Still looking pretty happy after a short climb.

With Bob at the top. Without his encouragement, I never would have made it!

So happy to have made it to the peak. Still living and breathing. Hooray!

Crazy roads we drove just to get to 11,000 feet.

Singing Mountains and Clapping Trees

Within the past year or so, Isaiah has quickly become one of my favorite books of the Bible, if not my very favorite. It has provided encouragement and support in countless situations. A few nights ago, I turned to chapter 55 and started reading. If you have time, read the whole chapter because it is wonderful.

But one verse stuck out to me that night. Isaiah 55:12 says, "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the moutains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." As amazing as the image of trees clapping their "hands" is, I focused in on the first part of that verse.

As someone who loves to-do lists and planning (far, far in advance), it can be easy for me to dwell on the future rather than today. Most of the time, I am happy to look forward to all the things I have planned before leaving for Uganda as well as the excitement of actually going! But there is a "logical" part of me that also realizes that everything won't always be rainbows, unicorns, and butterflies all the time in Uganda. Sometimes it can be hard to find a balance between having realistic expectations and negatively dwelling on what could go wrong.

But back to the verse--I thought it fit perfectly. As I leave for Uganda, it will be an exciting and bittersweetly joyous time. When I first arrive and see those beautiful mountains, I don't think it will be hard to picture them bursting into song. But what is even better is that when those days inevitably come when the rainbow has changed to just plain old rain and the unicorns look like ugly horses, God promises his peace will lead me forth. How wonderful! God isn't sending me to Uganda with just the promise that I'll go in joy but is sending me with the additional promise that I will continue to be led forward in His gracious peace.

Stocking Up on Fireworks

I celebrated my first 4th of July in America in about three years just a few days ago. I'm not a particularly patriotic person and never really saw the 4th as a holiday that I just had to be with my family. So I wasn't upset when I got to spend it in London two years ago. I wasn't sure how Independence Day would be celebrated in the place which we Americans had defeated to gain that independence. But it was fun to see the British view of Americans as they "celebrated". The British Museum hosted a party with all things American including hot dogs and cotton candy, line dancing, and American football being played quite pathetically on the front lawn.

Last year I spent my 4th on a sand dune in Senegal. Quite a different celebration for sure! It was a fun and memorable night with sparklers and an American barbecue atop a mountain of sand. We all forgot flashlights so the hamburgers were cooked by the light of one headlamp and the full moon graciously guided us back to our cars after the festivities. The 4th landed on the week when we had our homestay. As much as I absolutely loved the women we were staying with, it was so exciting to join fellow Americans (and two Canadians and a New Zealander) to celebrate our American-ness and to speak English again rather than stumble through a conversation in Wolof!

This year was fun too in a different kind of way. I had a relaxing 4th of July weekend and didn't do much other than hang out with my parents and take a nap (or two). But, I was determined to go see some real fireworks. Family friends invited us to go along with them to a "secret location" where the show was guaranteed to be incredible. And was it ever! There were firetrucks stationed next to the field we sat in. Just in case a stray spark came over. I had never seen fireworks so close! I had to lay back in my chair to see many of them. You could feel each boom in your chest and hear the crackle. While the other spectators were mute in their awe (or maybe just weren't really that impressed), I just couldn't stop declaring how amazing the show was!

The next night we decided to also go to our local fireworks display right down the street. While it wasn't quite as awe-inspiring as the previous night's show, it was picturesque on the waterfront and reminded me of the many times we had gone when I was growing up.

I was wishing I had my camera to remember the American fireworks fun. But, I think I'll remember and I'm kind of glad I got to see it with both eyes open rather than behind a viewfinder. I'm glad I stocked up for two years worth of fireworks! I'm also so excited to see all that God has done between now and July 4, 2011. I know it is going to be amazing.

Blessings of Rest

I have been able to enjoy real, quality rest lately. After returning home from college, I found it difficult to give up the busy, busy pace of school life. I began working at a job that I really didn't like (waitressing) and support raising like crazy, making phone calls and mailings constantly. It was an okay period of life. Who am I kidding? I was miserable. I enjoyed getting to talk with my supporters but other than that, I was pretty unhappy and missing my friends from school.

In the beginning of this month, God began to rain down blessings on me. First, I received a job at my home church working as a fill-in secretary. I had been praying since about January of this year that I wouldn't have to waitress yet again. When nothing came through, I figured that God wanted me to waitress and that it would be a sanctifying experience. Which it was. But, God, in his goodness, decided to bless me with this job. I now have a job I enjoy in a pleasant environment and I'm getting to know my home church better in the months before I leave for Uganda.

A few days after hearing that I had gotten the job, I was able to spend a week in Ocean City, NJ with my family and some friends from school. This was an incredible time of decompressing and rest for me. A whole week of sitting on the beach reading good books was truly fantastic. I spent time with my family and was unbelievably touched when my 2 year-old niece asked for Aunt Chrissy to come kiss her good-night. Later in the week, a few of my closest friends from school came from NY, CT, and PA. We had lots of laughs and even got in the freezing ocean.

Time on the boardwalk with my college friends.

Sweet N hanging out in the stroller.

E doing in the same.

A showing off her goofy personality.

M showing off his beach hat.

That week also gave me some time alone to think and process. My support has been coming in fast (over 75% of my monthly support is pledged!) and the reality of leaving America and moving to Uganda has started to hit. The vast majority of the time, I only feel excitement and eagerness to go when I think of Uganda. But when I'm really enjoying time with my family or an American comfort, it can be easy to think of what I'm leaving behind. Thankfully I can trust God and know that His calling is true and that my support flowing in is concrete proof that He wants me in Uganda. Being in the center of His will isn't always the easiest thing but I know that it is the best!

After returning from the beach, I began my new job and my support raising has slowed down from its previously frenzied pace. I have been enjoying afternoons basking in the sun while floating on a raft in our pool. I have taken the time to enjoy the cornfields that spread far on both sides of the back roads I drive every day. I have been blessed with real rest and relaxation. I am a person that likes to be busy and is often uncomfortable with an empty day planner. But God has been showing me that it is okay to enjoy a season of rest. I know that my life will speed up again in a few months as I attend orientation, begin packing, and start my new chapter in Uganda. But for now, I think I will just enjoy basking in the glow of God's rich blessings. And in the sun while I swim in our pool :)

25%

Unfortunately I don't have much time for a creative entry. But, for those that are reading, I have reached 25% of my monthly support! God is so good and his faithfulness is being shown to me in very concrete numbers the past few weeks. Please continue to pray that the remaining 75% would come in just as quickly!

Graduation

Well, I did it! I officially graduated last weekend. It was a great time filled with friends, family, and lots of great food. I was really sad as we drove away from the campus for the last time. I hate good-byes. But, I know that this was good practice for the many bigger and longer good-byes I will have to say in a few months.

Three of my very best friends that I made at Nyack drove from Connecticut and Pennsylvania to watch me graduate. I think the picture above provides a good visual for our highly entertaining relationship. While the picture is a tad ridiculous, these girls have become a whole new family to me and I will miss them dearly as I move to Uganda.